Van Damned

The day before we left Ireland, a local man stopped by. He’d seen the van parked on the drive, found out what we were up to and wanted to come over to wish us luck. Rather amazingly he brought us some gifts; a travel iron, solar shower, hydraulic jack, washing line, emergency triangle and some hymer curtain hooks. Nice man. He had travelled across Europe himself in an identical Hymer several years ago and told us a few stories of his adventures. One in particular stuck with us…

He was driving along a bad road one night in a storm, keen to get to his next location as soon as possible, when a lorry overtook him and a “brick” flew up from the road, hit the windscreen and completely shattered the glass. He pulled over, a bit shaken and bloodied and phoned the police. Long story short, the insurance company were unable to find a replacement windscreen and the van was written off, thus ending his adventures across Europe in a Hymer. He gifted the van to the Hymer Museum in Germany where it remains today.

Since hearing this cautionary tale we have made a continuous conscious effort to give all other vehicles a wide berth, which isn’t always easy when there are so many cars on the road -a massive increase I’m guessing, since I last owned a car in 2008.

(Deep breaths)

Yesterday, some total f*cking prick in a devil red jeep cut us up on the M1 and just as we were shouting “priiiiiiiiick!” (as you do) our eyes were drawn to a stone flying up from beneath his piece-of-shit wheels. Our mouths gaped in a silent scream as the stone bounced off our beautiful big windscreen leaving behind a very small but very visible chip. Within ten seconds the small chip became a small crack. We watched in something close to horror as the crack spread across the screen, neither of us able to form words.

We’ve taken refuge at Rodney’s brother’s house in Sheffield and are waiting for the insurance company to phone us back. They’re Yorkshire-based so are perhaps a little busy drinking tea with our old blowy-air motor friend. We’re drinking something a little stronger.

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