Three months in (a van)

  

So it’s now been over three months since we moved into the van and made our way to England. And we didn’t kill each other yet, so that’s something! Yay!

I should probably stop joking about murder. Just in case Rodney has a mysterious accident with, say, an alternator belt (plausible) and somehow strangles himself. It might look suspicious. 

So yes, three months. Three bizarre months. Whose idea was it to give up everything and move into a f*cking van? Ah yes, that would be me. In all honesty when I came up with this plan I envisaged myself bronzed and goddess-like, swinging on a hammock on a deserted beach in the med whilst Rodney caught fish with his bare hands and fed me grapes (after washing his fishy hands) and fanned me with a palm leaf. Later we’d get pissed around a raging campfire whilst Rodney strummed a happy tune and I’d say ‘look Rodney, a shooting star!’ and… you get the picture. 

As it is I’m just sat in a van, on a cold muddy farm, in England, in October, alone, trying to get a better signal and willing Rodney’s film to wrap early so we can escape to warmer climes before I a. go mad, b. freeze to death (and get eaten by the farmer’s slightly unhinged dog) or c. strangle Rodney with an alternator belt (and feed him to said dog). Hey, these things happen. 

I’ve delayed writing this post because I wanted to be able to share news of booked ferries and plans coming together. (I’m sighing heavily as I laboriously type this on my phone). I’ve basically got no news. The film schedule changes day to day and it could be one more week or maybe even six, so I can’t book anything. It’s ridiculous. My advice to any ‘resting’ actor is to leave London and make really exciting travel plans. I promise you, your phone will not stop ringing with offers of work. I think they call it Sod’s law.

I’d like to say that I was making the most of all this me time, but it turns out I’m very, very lazy when left to my own devices. The only thing I’ve achieved this summer is making four little curtains for the van. It took me three months, and I made them out of existing bloody curtains. 

I contemplated writing a novel, but like most people who contemplate such a thing I stared at a blank word document for five minutes before declaring the project a failure and moving on to new projects, such as ‘how many biscuits can I dunk in my tea before all the tea is gone?’

God I’m bored. 

So anyway you’ll not hear from me again until we have a concrete departure date and news of our travel plans. This is supposed to be a travel blog after all.

In the meantime, here’s some pics from the last month…

 Rodney went to Iceland to “work”… 
   

Here he is high-fiving his new BFF…

 

I took my bored, lazy arse to Cornwall, and had a fairly pleasant week eating ice cream and playing with my Ma’s disobedient dog…

 
  
  
   
    
 
 

But eventually it was time to return to the van, and the farm…

 
  
  
   

And to Rodney, who appears to have become very patriotic…
 
  

And to the news that we just became an uncle (Fester) and auntie again, to this wee superstar…

   
  

The first girl to be born into the Tosh family for over fifty years! Awwwwww!

It’s now getting cold enough for woolly hats, indoors…

  
   

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Did I mention that we ran out of gas again?

Must have slipped my frozen mind!

Laters

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6 thoughts on “Three months in (a van)

  1. Well it does look like a very nice farm……..you need to get yourself a cute little dog and go for long walkies…….instead of a novel maybe write a book on how to renovate a van?! Hope it is not too long before you are off on your travels 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hmm, thinking about the Perthshire Amber music festival in early November….wouldn’t be very toasty though! Though when we have hook up we leave our wee electric fan heater on through the night and it just clicks on and off throughout the night and hey no condensation in the morning and lovely and warm!
        We thought to stay UK this year to get the hang of this Motorhome malarkey and venture to warmer climes next year.

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      • I think we’ll get an electric heater. We’re at a club site this evening with hook up and it’s freezing!! The condensation is also starting to become a problem! Enjoy the festival if you decide to go along!! C

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  2. I could teach you a thing or two about lazyassedness, I’ve made a career out of it 😉 at least now learning the Finnish I’m using those hours somewhat productively!
    You ran out of gas again! Hahaha hope it wasn’t too painful this time round.
    I’ve got my fingers crossed for you that the film finishes and you can set off!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel so stoopid for not learning a language this summer. I planned to get fluent in Spanish. Pah! Such a waste!! If we’re in the UK next winter I think we’ll need to do some house-sitting too to escape the cold. Or get some better insulation for the van. Brrrrrrr!!

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