Meh-laysia

  

We got the boat from Ko Lipe down to Langkawi, Malaysia on 4 December. I sort of wanted to stay in Thailand (forever) but Rodney had booked tickets to see Star Wars at the IMAX in Kuala Lumpur on Dec 17, so we were on a strict schedule. He booked the tickets the same day we booked our flights to Asia, back in October. My initial reaction at the time was ‘you can f*ck off if you think I’m going to go and see the biggest western (made) film of the decade, on opening day, in a Muslim country’. But that was before I stopped reading the angry bullshit news and being a frightened little scrotum. Still, I’m not a massive fan of schedules so I continued to give him abuse for imposing one on us, right up until the 17th.

This was my fourth trip to Malaysia and I’ve always had a splendid time but this time we found it a bit meh. I’m not easily shocked but the rate at which they’re tearing down their forests is jaw-dropping. Also, Cameron Highlands has started to look like a piece of shit. Also, we couldn’t go to Borneo (possibly my favourite place in all the land) because kidnapping/adultnapping of tourists has become a thing. And also, we were back in the realm of people being rude and dismissive. Not everyone -Josh at Father’s Guest House might just be the nicest person on the planet- but enough for us to think, ‘f*ck this for a game of soldiers, let’s fly to Bali (just as soon as Star Wars finishes)’.

So let’s make this one quick. Here’s the best (publishable) pictures of our two week mildly enjoyable (the food remains outstanding) rush across Malaysia…

We took a dodgy boat to Penang and moments after Rodney said ‘if this sinks swim towards that exit on the left’, Titanic came on the tv…  
The gnomes were very welcoming…

  
Rodney ate anything he could get his hands on (for under a quid)…      
I also ate some stuff…  

We gave them Landrovers… 

They gave us tea (fair swap)…
 

“What shall I do with the broken one boss?” … “Eesh…erm…vase?” 

I’m guessing this was an arranged marriage (geddit?!)…

 

This cat brought us hours of amusement, and fleas…
   

The original Kickapoo…  

A big bloody beetle…

 
Bit of sightseeing in beautiful Melaka…  

Cute Christmas veranda in China town, reminding us that it’s…err… Christmas…  

We stayed at the worst (rathole) hotel in Malaysia…  
And then the best…
 

We went to see (f*cking) Star Wars, which turned out to be quite good fun coz the audience ‘whooped’ with appreciation at every opportunity…
  

This girl sang Zombie, and I fell in love with Malaysia once again… 

‘But you see it’s not me

It’s not my family

In your head in your head

They are fighting’.

(wipes tears from eyes and continues sucking on deliciously refreshing coconut)

Where were we? Ah yes, vans.  VANS! Coz this is a blog about vans goddammit! Here’s a selection of Malaysia’s V.A.N.S (the pickings were slim)…

It’s a bit flimsy-looking but I think I could rock this ‘vanette’. Surfboard on the roof, new wheels, fluffy dice…

 

Not sure what the fark this is, but Rodney laughed like a school boy for ten minutes at the sign…  

Who wouldn’t want to travel in the sponge bob mobile? …  

A bit more up my street, though strictly speaking, a bus. When can we move in ?  

Well shit, that appears to be it for 2015. Thank you for reading my blog. May you have the merriest Christmases you can muster. Hope to see you on the other side!

  
 
 

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