How to live

Far be it from me to tell anyone how to live their life, but… I think I may have cracked it. I’ve always rather envied people who seem to float through life without a care in the world. It seemed to me to be such a wonderful state of being. However, try as I might I’ve always managed to find something to get secretly, or not so secretly stressed about. Well not anymore! After four months of aimless wandering I have discovered my very own mental utopia. There is a paradise on earth and it’s situated inside my peaceful little head. I believe the Buddhists may call it ‘enlightenment’.

I suspect that now I’m back in blighty, this wonderful feeling of having ‘no f*cks to give’ will fade along with my tan, but maybe not. After all, the adventure is really only just beginning.

So before we return to talking about vans and leaks and alternators (oh my!) let’s take a little look at our last month in toasty Thailand and bask (together) in the joy that is my life.

How to Live- A ten step guide to living the dream (Thai style)

Lesson one

Feel for a pulse. If you’ve got one it means that you’re still alive. Yaaaaaaaay!!! Congratulations! Now celebrate by crushing the dengue-transmitting mosquito that is trying to feed on you whilst you pose for holiday snaps…

Got it!! And remember, guilt is a pointless emotion. It’s a them or us situation. You gotta do what you gotta do. Plus, the Dalai Lama eats meat, so…

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Oh wait, nobody mentioned acid-spitting beetles?! I think they may call that Karma…

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Lesson two

Eat delicious food that doesn’t cost the earth…

 

Lesson three

Find someone fun to play with, and don’t be a dick- share your toilet paper …

Lesson four

Total relaxation is a fine art so you’ve got to work at it…

Lesson Five

Treat yourself, now and again. F*ck it, everyday. Treat yourself everyday (unless you’re a dick- see above- in which case you don’t deserve treats)…

Lesson Six

Fill a giant chinese bag with all the things you’ll miss about Thailand and get yourself a Rodney to carry them home for you. (I couldn’t fit the sun in the bag, so it’s mostly Thai spices)…

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Lesson Seven

Never tire of the things that fascinated you as a child…

Lesson Eight

Go hiking in the midday sun and get so dehydrated that you start to hallucinate and almost step on a snake because you can’t see where you’re going. Repeat this every day for a fortnight. Now, for the rest of your life, everything else will seem completely effortless…

Lesson Nine

Go hiking in torrential rain and discover that your rucksack is not waterproof, but it doesn’t matter because you are no longer a person that gets angry at such things…

Lesson Ten

Stand on a big rock and thank your lucky stars for all of the above…

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